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  “You…you…you insisted we come up to the rooftop.”

  “I did?”

  “Yeah. You were pacing in the hall muttering when I got off the elevator. You looked like you recognized me. But you didn’t touch me except to grab my hand. I thought you had some exciting surprise. Not that this isn’t cool being up here.” She cocked her head and looked at him, the way you’d assess a mentally disturbed person.

  He scanned his mind, retracing his steps since he got here. Arrived at airport. Picked up rental car. Drove here. Bad traffic. Arrived at hotel. Checked in. Wandered out in hall. No blank spaces until then. Now I’m here. It felt like a walk-in alien had taken the wheel of his life for a time. “Shit.”

  “Yeah, shit. I told you this was a bad idea, baby. You need professional care.”

  He waved her concerns away. “What I need is to get my memories back, pronto. Maybe this is working. Let’s see.” He reached for her hand and tugged her around the corner toward the door to the rooftop, pausing before entering the stairwell. “How do I know this place?”

  “What?”

  “I knew exactly where to go to exit and I apparently knew exactly where to go to get here.” He fell back against the wall and raked a hand through his hair. “Damn. This is surreal. It’s like a stranger lives inside of me.”

  “That stranger’s been through a lot. Let’s see if we can get to know him,” Beck said. “I’ll follow you. Wherever you go. Start walking.”

  He stepped into the concrete block stairwell, cautious, uncertain. Looked around. Everything’s unfamiliar.

  “Recognize anything?”

  “Not a thing.”

  They tromped down the stairs, their footfalls making hollow clangs echoing in every direction.

  “We should probably wait to do this,” Zed said.

  “Okay, why?”

  “I’ve got an appointment with an organic grower. Their seed stock is some of the best around.”

  “Okay, your call.”

  Zed checked the time. “Maybe a few more minutes.” He hustled down one more flight of stairs and paused at a doorway, staring at it with trepidation.

  “What?”

  “I dunno.”

  He seized the metal door handle, opened it and entered the hallway to a swanky bar.

  “Did you have drinks there?” Beck pointed toward the bar.

  “Not that I recall.”

  “Nothing?”

  He stroked the patch of hair beneath his lip. Spread his hand to include his cheeks, massaging ‘round and ‘round. Ran his palm over his jaw, trying to remember. “Nope. Nothing.”

  “Let’s take the elevator from this level. If you came up here, maybe you took the elevator down.”

  They stepped into the elevator, and the doors slid closed.

  “Anything?”

  “Nada.” Zed pushed the button for their room floor. He took a hesitant step into the hallway. “Except for the memories I already have, which are God awful enough, nope. Nothing.”

  “Well, it can’t be forced.”

  “I suppose not. What did you do with your bag?”

  “I pitched it in the room as we strode past. You were a man on a mission.”

  “Huh. This is so fucking disturbing.” He chuffed out a lungful of air. “Well. Do you need anything before we head to my appointment? Or do you need to rest and recover from last night?”

  “Nuh uh. Not on your life. I’m not letting you out of my sight. Let’s go.”

  After locking the room door, Zed led Beck to the parking garage toward the Toyota rental car. A queasy sensation rolled around in his belly, but no accompanying imagery. Frustrated, he unlocked the passenger door for Beck and held the door open for her.

  “What’s it like driving a four door sedan?”

  “Meh.” He shrugged. “Give me a pickup any day of the week. Now that’s a man’s vehicle.” He smirked at her, ready to let go of his memory hunt and simply enjoy her. Like that will happen. Clutching the wheel, he paused and said, “You okay driving? I’m, uh…I’m a liability.”

  “Sure, baby.” She glanced at him, concern evident.

  As they sped along the highway, Zed’s leg began to jitter up and down. He shifted in his seat. Wiped the sweat from his brow. Something familiar about the fast paced drive niggled at his brain. “It’s hot here. You hot?”

  Beck pivoted to look at him, her face creased in a frown. “We’ve got the air conditioner on.”

  “Huh. Turn here.”

  “Where?”

  “Right here. This exit. Quick.”

  She swerved into the exit.

  “Christ, you almost missed it.”

  “I thought you said the grower’s place is in the other direction.”

  “Forget what I said. Follow this road.” Zed’s agitation increased. His foot tapped the floor. His breathing bellowed in his chest.

  “What now?”

  “Turn here. Right here. Turn right here.”

  “I’m doing it, I’m doing it.”

  “Christ.” Zed raked his hair with his fingers. Tapped the floorboard some more.

  “What’s going on, Zed?”

  He only shook his head in response. “Christ,” he said for the third time. “Up here. Turn here.”

  Beck quickly whipped to the right. She sped at a clip along the winding road, zipping past low green hills, and a tranquil, postcard perfect, manicured golf course.

  Zed lifted a shaky hand to his head. He wiped the sweat from his brow, his mind flooded with certainty of having been here before. “Here. Here. Right here, Beck!” He reached for the wheel and turned it, causing the car to pitch and fishtail onto a one-lane service road, running along the side of the green.

  A golfer looked up from his shot and stared at them.

  “Goddamn, Zed. Let me drive!” She shoved his hand away and took control of the car once more. “Where the hell are we?”

  “Not sure yet.”

  They zipped along the service road, bouncing over potholes, emerging onto a two-lane road.

  “Left, here! Go left!” The stress and panic inside his head threatened to consume him. His heart beat so fast he thought it would shake free from his ribcage.

  Beck drove fast, making the trees and shrubs alongside the road appeared as quick blurs. She slammed on the brakes at a stop sign, sliced her head back and forth, and stepped on the gas. They ascended up a steep, windy road, only the occasional house dotting the landscape, tucked behind fortified metal fences or rock walls. As they climbed, the homes became fewer and fewer.

  “Aw, fuck,” muttered Zed, his eyes trained ahead. “That’s it. That’s the tree. Stop the car.”

  Beck pulled to the side and parked.

  Zed practically leapt from the vehicle in a tuck and roll maneuver, racing toward the scarred tree. Callus tissue had formed in the jagged slices cut deep in the graying bark of the oak. He waved her to where he stood, his hands flapping like flags. “Here it is. Shit. I can’t believe I remembered how to get here.” As soon as she stood by his side, he said, “Let’s go. Down here.” He scrambled down the hillside, pushing through foliage and brush. “Shit! There’s part of my bumper.” He hefted a piece of mangled metal and barked out a laugh. “See what you can find.”

  Beck joined him in the search, moving branches aside with her hands and using her foot to move piles of decaying leaves. “What’s this?’ She picked up a grimy, dirt covered piece of fabric, disturbing the hiding place of several bugs. They quickly scurried away in search of shelter.

  “Let’s see.” He strode toward her and took the piece of blue linen cloth in his hands. “It looks like part of the shirt I wore. I remember turning up at the emergency room with a ripped shirt.” He frowned. “This is bizarre. How can a mind be so fragmented?”

  “It’s a sophisticated system, designed to protect you and heal any way it can.” She moved away from him, her feet pushing debris, her eyes scanning the ground. “Zed?”

  He hear
d the tremor in her voice, loud and clear. “What is it?”

  “I think you might want to take a look at this. I’m not touching it.”

  He strode to where she stood, looking like she might vomit. “What is it, honey?”

  She pointed under a shrub, her lips curled in disgust.

  His gaze drifted to where her line of site ended, to see something that looked like tiny bones. The small, fragile bones were cleaned of flesh, but lay as if muscle, skin and ligaments still bound them to one another. Using a large leaf, he gently scooped up the calcified cluster, holding it in his palm. “What the fuck? Is it the leg bone of a small animal?”

  “I don’t think so.” Beck wrapped her arm around her stomach. “If I remember my anatomy, it’s a human finger.”

  Chapter 30

  Beck let out a garbled shriek.

  Zed dropped the digit in the dirt. “Fuck. Do you think it’s Lawson’s? I don’t remember seeing him missing a finger but then I didn’t study his hands. I barely look at him.”

  “He…he…he wore gloves in the treatment room. Some of the guys wear workout gloves but I found it odd since we were only putting him through legwork. I thought maybe he had scars on his hand. Some guys are self-conscious that way. They’ll come in with no legs and be worried if you see some kind of disfigurement on their hand.”

  “Or no finger. Shit. Now that I think on it, I remember he wore gloves at the party Ma threw for him. I thought it part of his marine badass getup. Maybe…no. No way.” He stepped away from the evidence, his face awash with something like a freak-out revelation. “What if he had to retire? What if I did something making him lose his finger on that night and he returned to the military a damaged soldier? What if it affected his ability to kill? He’d want my head on a platter.”

  He grabbed the back of his neck with his palm and paced in a circle before coming to a stop, huddling with Beck over the bones, peering down at them.

  Beck stood with her hand pressed tightly to her mouth. Saliva trickled into her mouth as her body, repulsed by the finger, by the possibilities, by Lawson, threatened to respond the only way it knew how—vomit. Her lingering hangover didn’t help the situation. She willed herself to be logical, rational, to think, for God’s sake. “We don’t know anything at this point. Maybe it’s an animal bone like you said. Maybe we’re jumping to conclusions.”

  “And maybe we’re not,” Zed said. “Shit.” He sank into a crouch, positioned over the bones. “Shit,” he said again. “Know anyone who does forensics? Isn’t that what they do on TV?”

  She let out a shaky laugh. “Not that I know of.” She joined him in the crouch. “Are you getting anything back? Any memories?”

  Zed shook his head. “Nothing. Same black hole. Except that I found this place. Shit,” he repeated. “Fucking hell.”

  “Okay. Okay. We take the evidence with us. Do something with it, I don’t know; we’re not detectives or anything. We take the finger to the police.”

  “And what?” Zed snapped. “They find out it’s Lawson’s, the decorated soldier’s finger, and accuse me of wrong doing?”

  “I don’t know, we have to do something!” Beck wracked her brain for ideas. “Let’s take it, and think.”

  Zed shook his head. “Bad idea.”

  “Do you have any other ideas?” Beck volleyed.

  “No. Goddamn.”

  “Okay, then. We take it with us and figure it out as we go.” She picked up the biggest leaf she could find and wrapped it around the bones. Clutching the bundle tightly in her hand, she used her other hand to retrieve the keys from her jeans pocket. “Here. Pop the trunk.”

  “Fuck, Beck, is that your best idea? Put my brother’s finger in the trunk?” He took the keys from her.

  “I can’t think of a better one, can you?” She glared at him.

  “This is a rental car, don’t forget.”

  “Okay, okay,” she said, her mind racing. “Do you have anything in the car we can wrap it in?”

  “Let’s look in the Toyota.” He stalked up the hill.

  Beck had to practically trot to keep up with him.

  Once he got close enough, he pressed the trunk open button. The trunk eased up. He opened the passenger door and rummaged around. “Here’s the envelope stuffed with maps and crap the rental place gave me.” He waved it wildly at her.

  “It will have to do. Put the contents somewhere,” she said, following him up the hill. She watched him dump the contents on the back seat. She held the digit like a radioactive specimen and tromped next to him. “Open it up.”

  He did so, holding it open like a paper maw.

  She dropped the aged finger in the envelope. “Okay,” she said, decisively, folding the paper twice to secure the bones inside, walking back to the trunk. “This will keep it from rolling around,” she said, wedging it underneath the gray mat inside the trunk. “Wait here.” She turned toward the hillside.

  “Where are you going?” called Zed.

  She lifted her hand in response and trotted toward the bumper. Once she had it in hand, she climbed back up the hill. “More evidence,” she said, waving it high, once she got close to Zed.

  “Evidence of what? Have you lost your mind? I’m the one who wrecked the truck, don’t forget.”

  “I know, but what if…” She felt a surge of sleuth-like excitement. “What if Lawson came after you. Hunted you. And you used the metal bumper to slice off his finger.”

  “Jesus, Beck, you’re writing fiction now.” Zed’s face grew stony with evident judgment.

  “Do you have any better theories, hot shot?” she snapped.

  “No. Okay, toss it in the trunk and let’s go.”

  They set off, Beck driving at a slightly less frenetic pace, heading down the hill.

  “This is a stupid idea. We’re flying home tomorrow, don’t forget. It will have to go through the scanners at the airport. ‘Care to tell me what you need with a mangled piece of metal and these little bones, son?’” Zed pretended to be airport security.

  “I just thought of that,” Beck said. “Our minds are connected.” She wiggled her fingers at his head. “Maybe we should leave the evidence here. We have no way of getting it tested and what good does it do? I think the evidence was for you and you alone as some sort of proof of what happened that night.”

  Zed stroked his soul patch. “At least we can give it a proper burial. Remove it from the crime scene. Let’s pitch it off the cliff when we head back to the hotel. Gift it to the sea. Good riddance.”

  “I could make a necklace out of the bones and wear it to the office. ‘Look what Zed gave me! He said he bought it in San Diego!’ Can you see Lawson’s face? He’d be apoplectic.”

  “And you’d be dead. Hell, no to that idea. Maybe it was a worthwhile experiment, though. Maybe it will shake something loose.” Zed pulled his phone free and stared at it, cursing. “I’m going to have to make up one whale of a story to let the grower know why we’re an hour late.”

  “Oh, come on. Your flight was delayed. Traffic sucked. The hotel lost your reservation and you had to argue for a while. You’ll think of something. You’re smart that way.” She smirked.

  “And you’re devious,” he said. “Okay, Ms. Tosetti, onward to the grower while I hem and haw over the phone.”

  “Tosetti Drivers, at your service.” She gave him a crisp salute.

  “Is this some kind of escort service? Any benefits come with it?” Zed looked at her with longing, his wicked tongue skimming his luscious lips.

  She melted inside. “For you, baby, you get the full meal deal. Later…”

  “Oh no. I have a few ideas to explore while you’re in the driver’s seat.”

  “Such as?” Beck’s panties suddenly felt wet.

  “All you have to do is drive, sweetheart. Pay attention to the road.”

  “What will you do?” She licked her lips in anticipation.

  “Oh, I’m going to see how much friction’s required to get you to
come in a moving vehicle.”

  “With what?”

  He wiggled his fingers in her direction, leaning across the bench seat, and unzipping her pants. He pushed and wriggled his hand to her sex, smiling broadly when he reached his destination. “Oh, my, Ms. Tosetti. You’re wet.”

  She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “And you’re hard. Sweet baby Jesus, Zed. If this is what sleuthing does to you, let’s become detectives.”

  He slid his hand free, sniffed his fingers and inserted them in his mouth, sucking and licking them. “Mm hmm,” he hummed, making her even hornier. “You’re my healing balm. I need to get all this crap out of my head.”

  “Which head are we talking about?” She felt light-headed. Beck stopped at the stop sign, pulled on the parking brake and wriggled her jeans off her ass, glancing furtively in the rear view to make sure no one was behind her. “There you go, hot shot. Easier access.” She stepped on the pedal, smiling at the driver who pulled up to the four way stop. She even gave him a little wave for good measure. She laughed, seeing his mouth fall open as they drove by.

  “Voyeur much?” he said, his mouth in a hard twist.

  “A girl’s gotta show her delight in her man in one way or another.”

  “By driving him nuts? I’m sure that guy’s pulling off the road to jerk off.”

  Beck glanced at Zed’s face.

  He seemed displeased, a dark scowl on his handsome face.

  Knowing what she knew about his past, she said, “Baby, don’t be jealous. There’s only you for me, now and into the future.” She snuck a quick glance, taking a breath as his jaw relaxed.

  “Where was I?”

  Her legs opened wider. “Somewhere in the vicinity of my pussy.”

  “Oh, yeah.” He licked his lips, and pushing aside her panties, slid his finger between her legs.

  “Mmm,” she hummed.

  “I like your response time.” He stroked her slippery flesh. “I like the way you light up when I touch you.”

  “Don’t think I respond this way with anybody. Only you.” This statement seemed to arouse the hell out of him. In a few hot minutes, she clenched the wheel, and tried really hard to keep the car in the correct lane as her body exploded in orgasm.